television

Fibbing Friday

What would a Friday be without the chance to fib? So, put on your thinking caps and prepare your biggest whopper. This coming week is my son’s spring break and created the theme for this week.

Here are this week’s questions:

  1. You wanted to book a trip to Athens, but the agent misunderstood you…where did they send you?
  2. He sent me to East Greenche, which was founded by a man who garbled the letters in ‘Athens, Greece’.  I once met someone who scrambled the letters in ‘Germany’, and met Meg Ryan.

  3. What will customs agents find in your luggage?
  4. They’ll find American water.  I’ve often heard that foreign waters can be so dangerous.

  5. What do you sneak aboard the flight, and what do you sneak it in?
  6. I’ll take D.V.D.’s of “The Addams Family” T.V. show, hidden in a large potato chip container, so no one will know.

  7. The plane crashes — everyone survives — where did you crash?
  8. It was a marshmallow farm.  No one ever gets hurt from marshmallows.

  9. What are three things you find at your crash site?

I find a pair of undershorts I lost fifteen years ago, the meaning of life, and spam.

  1. Survivors see a rescue opportunity but don’t take it…why?

The people in charge have invited them to a square dance.

  1. What are you finally rescued by?

We were rescued by an artist.  He drew us an escape route.

  1. What is the first thing you do when you get back home?

Show people my Youtube videos of all my exciting adventures.

  1. The airline offers you money, but you turn it down…what do you get instead?

I asked for a promise to do it again, at least once yearly, from now on.

  1. You decide that a cruise is safer, where do you go?

I’m going to Scranton, but it won’t be easy, considering that it’s landlocked all the way.

  1. You get marooned on a deserted island but find huts and scientific equipment made out of coconuts…what happened to Gilligan and the Skipper?

They got together with people from ‘Northern Exposure’ and established the People’s Republic of Alaska And Hawaii as a new sovereign nation.

  1. A fishing boat rescues you, but you have to pay Poseidon for safe passage…what do you pay?

I’ve heard Poseidon’s always been so very adventurous so I’ve promised to pay him in scuba diving lessons.

  1. He rejects your fare and throws you across the world…you land safely, but where do you end up?

I’m now in Scranton, visiting Edith Bunker’s Aunt Iola.

  1. How does your story end?

It ends very dramatically, as the soundtrack music plays, and the closing credits are displayed upon the screen.

Annunci

Holy Old Age, Batman!

 

 

jhc-asylum

 

 

Burt and Tracy Ward visited my neighborhood a while ago. They were here to give a speech about ‘Batman’ and ‘The Green Hornet’.

Burt explained that Bruce Lee died in 1975, followed by Van Williams in 2016, and Adam West last year.  That leaves only him to keep things going.

“It’s tough being the last super hero”, he explained.  “Every day I have to see the Black Beauty and the Batmobile. Of course I’m 73 years old so I have to make sure I reconcile all of this with an eight o’clock p.m. bedtime.  Now I know how Aunt Harriet and Alfred felt.”

Welcome back yet again to Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers where, this week, J. Hardy Carroll provides the photo prompt.

 

ENCHANTED! ENRAPTURED! EMBALMED!

dales-broken-door

“Today’s the sixty seventh anniversary of Curly Howard’s death,” Arthur told Eugene.  We really have to celebrate the right way.”

 

 

“You know,” Eugene said,  “it takes a lot of talent and intelligence to make infantile behavior, violence, and lack of social skills come off as legitimate comedy.  We’d better practice like crazy.”

 

 

All throughout the day and night the friends honed their “Hmmmm’s”, “La da deee la da daaaah’s”, and “Oh, a wise guy, eh?’s”. 

 

 

At the end of the night their wives arrived to drive them home, confronted with proof that the boys had enjoyed their day.

 

 

Welcome back to Friday Fictioneers, where Rochelle gets to guide us through our weekly attempt at matching a story to a photograph.  This week’s photo has been provide by yet another regular, DALE

Brave, Courageous, And Bold

Hildegarde had always been notoriously anxious. Finally she resolved to conquer her fear. 

It was the traditional dark and stormy night, when she sat down to watch a ‘Dark Shadows’ marathon.

From the very instant Victoria Winters introduced the first episode, Hildegarde’s heart and pulse beat hysterically.

In advance, she warned everyone not to call or to visit.  She attempted to persevere as the torrential rain and wind drove her to seeming madness.

For a while, all went well.  There was, however, one small catch: She had forgotten to account for the squeaky hinges on her doors.

A Petition to Cancel ‘The View’

Take ‘The View’ Off the Air, Fire Whoopi Goldberg

 

 

‘The View’ is a thoroughly one~sided, radical show that does nothing but add to the alienation, bitterness, and resentment that currently divide people in this country. There’s absolutely no place whatsoever for this kind of blatant brainwashing in people’s lives.

The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd

mg-rose-stem

“I really like the way my rose is now,” Brenda told Cheryl.

“I call that a Molly Dodd moment.”

 

“Huh?!” her friend gasped.

 

“I grew up,” Brenda explained, “watching shows like ‘My Mother the Car,’ ‘Mr. Ed,’ and ‘Seinfeld.’

 

“Molly, for me, is the epitome of normal. In the  typical episode, Molly reads  her mail, says hello to a neighbor, blows her nose. You know, plain stuff.”

 

“I can understand that,” Cheryl opined. At the same time though, each of us often needs Gunther Toody and Ed Norton in his life too. Contrast and balance are the answer to everything.”

 

Moocho thank you to Rochelle Wisoff~Fields for being our Fearless Leader in Friday Fictioneers, a weekly attempt at a hundred~page story based upon a photo prompt. This week’s prompt was supplied by Marie Gail Stratford.

 

sometimes hep, sometimes hell

I should like to think that a train station, airport terminal, subway stop, or anyplace else where passengers gather, is somehow an eclectic combination of both a soulless space occupied by distracted, stressed zombies and a magical set for fleeting, interlocking stories within the population of mankind. Since most of the people who pass through these kinds of places are always going to remain absolute strangers to each other, and since they won’t ever end up having any signiIMG_0061ficant contact with one another, in that sense they will always, unfortunately, appear as if they’re a randomly thrown together combination of nameless, lifeless non entities, who are only in the same location for an extremely short time frame, on their way to a common destination.  They have the kind of connection to each other that’s somewhat similar to that of people who are connected only on Facebook, Myspace or Twitter.  They all merely fit into the same category to serve a fleeting purpose. At the same time, however, there can be potentially quite a lot of drama available in such a setting. Very many people with common interests may find themselves in each other’s company.  If, occasionally, someone would presume to strike up a conversation with a perfect stranger in such a setting, they might even end up igniting quite a significant romance, reminiscent of the kinds that happened on shows like “Hotel” and “The Love Boat” (I’m very sorry but I don’t watch very many recent shows).  People are the same all over the world. Up to a certain point it’s not such a very smart idea for anyone  to trust someone he’s just met in that kind of environment.  Although good people can be found everywhere places like that can be populated by all kinds of nasty characters.  Denizens of subway stations are well known for being rather lazy and careless about sanitary habits and social skills in general. Once one gets past all the morons, troublemakers and otherwise lost souls, though, it’s a truly hep place.  If someone were merely to hang around and to listen to the conversations people have in these kinds of places, he would be able to amass, after a short while, quite a significant collection of interesting anecdotes.  Exactly because so many people from so many different environments can be found there, it must be quite a veritable bottomless pit of story telling.  All those otherwise soulless non entities then become store houses of folklore and adventure. Whether by way of simple observation as a disinterested third party, or even by getting actively engaged with the occasional character in a lobby, restaurant or gift shop, anyone at any given time can at least turn an otherwise unbearably boring stressful situation into a reasonably interesting experience. Besides everything else one never knows whom he may meet in this kind of environment.  Once, in the early 1980’s, I even flew to Buffalo on the same plane as jazz musician Cab Calloway.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/in-transit/

http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/sudden-inspiration-by-music-journey/

http://isimonfiction.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/reblog-generosity/

http://rsativus.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/instant-friendship/

http://lifeconfusions.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/rails-and-ties/

http://youaintspecial.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/the-other-other-other-white-meat/

here comes your nineteenth nervous breakdown

Throughout my adult lifetime, I’ve always been, to varying degrees, inordinately anxious, especially under stressful circumstances. The very best thing I can possibly do on the eve of a big moment of truth-a significant trip, a job interview, or some other milestone-is simply to relax and to go to bed even earlier than my accustomed bedtime. Besides that I enjoy reading, playing my guitar or any other simple relaxing activity. I also occasionally watch television, but that’s not a habit of mine anymore. I’ve always quite bitterly despised the telephone so it helps if I can scrupulously avoid that particular thing.  I absolutely never even think of taking any risks whatsoever with food. If I know I am going to be subjected to pressure, my diet the day before is inevitably simple with absolutely no spices whatsoever. Any risk of stomach trouble would be terrifying.  I always put whatever materials I may be obligated to have in my possession-a number two pencil, identification, money or anything else of any importance-in a very safe, easily accessible place the night before I need them. For the past quite a long time my anxiety hasn’t been overwhelming, but it’s still sufficiently significant that I can’t play games with it.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/big-day-ahead/

http://laughagain.wordpress.com/2014/10/04/prepare-then-walk/

http://pepperconnection.com/2014/10/04/my-biggest-day-preparations/

http://losjourneytoboston.com/2014/10/04/prompt-big-day-ahead/

tales from the dark side

“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness,” is a line from twentieth century poet and radical Allen Ginsberg, a major figure in both the 1950’s Beat Generation and the 1960’s counterculture.  Having read quite a significant amount of Ginsberg’s work I can honestly say that I’m not interested in doing things his way. Although I understand that it can be nice, and even constructive, for someone to tap into his somewhat less than perfectly well behaved side, I don’t trust my darker impulses. Having found out the hard way, over the course of my lifetime, just exactly what kinds of things I’m capable of, I don’t especially like to tamper with forces that are so easily capable of getting out of control. In my writing I often enjoy exploring dark themes. Television shows from the late 1950’s and early 1960’s, such as “One Step Beyond”, “The Twilight Zone”, “The Outer Limits”, and “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” have always interested me.  A conveniently detached observation of all the inexplicably strange offbeat things that go on in life, that are beyond the normal, is as much as I can be expected to try to deal with. To get personally involved with it, though, would provoke irrevocable trouble.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/howl-at-the-moon/

http://laughagain.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/howling-at-the-moon/

http://yichinglin.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/in-the-middle-of-4/

http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/beyond-the-stillness/