What would a Friday be without the chance to fib? So, put on your thinking caps and prepare your biggest whopper. This coming week is my son’s spring break and created the theme for this week.
Here are this week’s questions:
- You wanted to book a trip to Athens, but the agent misunderstood you…where did they send you?
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He sent me to East Greenche, which was founded by a man who garbled the letters in ‘Athens, Greece’. I once met someone who scrambled the letters in ‘Germany’, and met Meg Ryan.
- What will customs agents find in your luggage?
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They’ll find American water. I’ve often heard that foreign waters can be so dangerous.
- What do you sneak aboard the flight, and what do you sneak it in?
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I’ll take D.V.D.’s of “The Addams Family” T.V. show, hidden in a large potato chip container, so no one will know.
- The plane crashes — everyone survives — where did you crash?
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It was a marshmallow farm. No one ever gets hurt from marshmallows.
- What are three things you find at your crash site?
I find a pair of undershorts I lost fifteen years ago, the meaning of life, and spam.
- Survivors see a rescue opportunity but don’t take it…why?
The people in charge have invited them to a square dance.
- What are you finally rescued by?
We were rescued by an artist. He drew us an escape route.
- What is the first thing you do when you get back home?
Show people my Youtube videos of all my exciting adventures.
- The airline offers you money, but you turn it down…what do you get instead?
I asked for a promise to do it again, at least once yearly, from now on.
- You decide that a cruise is safer, where do you go?
I’m going to Scranton, but it won’t be easy, considering that it’s landlocked all the way.
- You get marooned on a deserted island but find huts and scientific equipment made out of coconuts…what happened to Gilligan and the Skipper?
They got together with people from ‘Northern Exposure’ and established the People’s Republic of Alaska And Hawaii as a new sovereign nation.
- A fishing boat rescues you, but you have to pay Poseidon for safe passage…what do you pay?
I’ve heard Poseidon’s always been so very adventurous so I’ve promised to pay him in scuba diving lessons.
- He rejects your fare and throws you across the world…you land safely, but where do you end up?
I’m now in Scranton, visiting Edith Bunker’s Aunt Iola.
- How does your story end?
It ends very dramatically, as the soundtrack music plays, and the closing credits are displayed upon the screen.
Annunci
ficant contact with one another, in that sense they will always, unfortunately, appear as if they’re a randomly thrown together combination of nameless, lifeless non entities, who are only in the same location for an extremely short time frame, on their way to a common destination. They have the kind of connection to each other that’s somewhat similar to that of people who are connected only on Facebook, Myspace or Twitter. They all merely fit into the same category to serve a fleeting purpose. At the same time, however, there can be potentially quite a lot of drama available in such a setting. Very many people with common interests may find themselves in each other’s company. If, occasionally, someone would presume to strike up a conversation with a perfect stranger in such a setting, they might even end up igniting quite a significant romance, reminiscent of the kinds that happened on shows like “Hotel” and “The Love Boat” (I’m very sorry but I don’t watch very many recent shows). People are the same all over the world. Up to a certain point it’s not such a very smart idea for anyone to trust someone he’s just met in that kind of environment. Although good people can be found everywhere places like that can be populated by all kinds of nasty characters. Denizens of subway stations are well known for being rather lazy and careless about sanitary habits and social skills in general. Once one gets past all the morons, troublemakers and otherwise lost souls, though, it’s a truly hep place. If someone were merely to hang around and to listen to the conversations people have in these kinds of places, he would be able to amass, after a short while, quite a significant collection of interesting anecdotes. Exactly because so many people from so many different environments can be found there, it must be quite a veritable bottomless pit of story telling. All those otherwise soulless non entities then become store houses of folklore and adventure. Whether by way of simple observation as a disinterested third party, or even by getting actively engaged with the occasional character in a lobby, restaurant or gift shop, anyone at any given time can at least turn an otherwise unbearably boring stressful situation into a reasonably interesting experience. Besides everything else one never knows whom he may meet in this kind of environment. Once, in the early 1980’s, I even flew to Buffalo on the same plane as jazz musician Cab Calloway.