If, three hundred years from now, I could be named the patron saint of something, it would have to be anything offbeat. I’ve always had quite an eccentric sense of humor and a somewhat distinctive approach to life in general too. Even as a kid I was always the one with the obnoxious annoying attitude and disposition. My way of dealing with things isn’t really the least bit bad. It’s just entirely distinctive in the sense of my always seeming to come up with the kinds of ideas and behavior that strike other people as hard to understand. I seem to specialize in all sorts of things that no one else is quite ready for. In a world where practically everyone really likes sports, animals and “Star Trek”, I’ve never been even the least bit interested in any of them. When my cousins and I used to bowl, a while ago with the Knights of Columbus, I was often put on the spot because even though I’m left handed, I’ve always really liked to wear my watch on my left wrist. Everyone complained that no one ever wears his watch on his dominant wrist. Even though I’ve never been the least bit interested in sports I’ve always told people that the Mets are my favorite team because when I was a kid I lived in their neighborhood. People frequently reminds me that if someone doesn’t even like sports then by definition he can’t possibly have a favorite team. My sense of humor is another trait in which I specialize in veering always toward the overly distinctive. A distinguishing trait of my approach to humor is my never ending tendency to bombard people with references which no one recognizes. In my world there’s nothing so interesting as the never ending barrage of non sequiturs. It would be quite accurate to say that my never ending unpredictability has always been my trademark. It kind of helps that I’ve also always been quite knowledgeable about all sorts of obscure things, sort of like a combination of Cliff Clavin and Diane Chambers. Just imagine the kind of son they could have had. That’s pretty much how I am. It’s not that I deliberately go out of my way inevitably to say and to do things that are in any way whatsoever the least bit maliciously inappropriate. I’m just a bit too far out for just anyone’s taste. If, however, someone is willing and able to try to handle an exceptionally colorful trip with all sorts of hep twists and turns, having me around can be quite enjoyable.
A few years ago my cousins Gary and Mark, and I, were talking one day. I presumed to attempt to make a contribution to a certain topic of conversation, when Mark claimed that because I’m a theology and philosophy major-I’m not. I majored in literature- he wondered how could I possibly have had any idea of what I was talking about. A while after that I got into a debate with one of Mary Anne’s three kids, my nephew Michael. When I provided a rebuttal for something he said, he complained that it sounded as if it were something I’d mooched from a philosophy lecture and that for as far back as he could remember my approach to life has always boiled down, as far as he could recognize, to philosophy, theology and the Beatles.
Ever since my middle twenties I’ve always been quite smitten with theology and philosophy. Unlike other academic disciplines, as far as I’m concerned, those are the only two that an individual can, by necessity, count on having a need for over the course of his entire everyday life outside the classroom, one hundred per cent of the time. They’re all about human nature. The Beatles have been my very favorites literally throughout my entire lifetime. Their decade, the infamous legendary 1960’s, provide my sense of style and imagery. I’ve always always had quite an exceptionally intense sense of humor, and a hyperactive imagination, that can be referred to as a bit on the lopsided side. If my last name were ever to be used as an eponymous adjective, it would refer to a world where the things that must be taken very seriously would always undeniably be understood from an entirely conservative point of view. I very long ago recognized that liberalism is the custodian of all things evil and destructive. The left, in both secular and religious sources, dating back to the days of the Old Testament as well as Virgil and Homer, has always been associated with the forces of evil. Of course, in order to add an unavoidably necessary touch of levity to things, that would have to be combined with all my hippie flower power imagery and quite a nice wholesome dose of silliness. My lifelong infatuation with the past is most certainly not restricted to the 1960’s. Life in my world could send someone to places ranging from Regency England to ancient Macedonia.
To refer to something as Trasciatti.esque would be to evoke a world that somehow combines the intellectual and serious with the silly and lopsided, a world where everyone can be pretty much counted upon to behave reasonably well, but in which everything ends in suffixes ranging from -in to -agogo.
I like always both to adhere to a strict code of conduct and to keep an interesting sense of humor about things. Beware the false dichotomy. The more I see of today’s leftist ‘who-am-I-to-judge’ mentality, with its permissive approach to abortion, euthanasia, homosexuality, reverse discrimination and all sorts of other horrors, the more I see that we simply can’t afford to allow it to go on. What they call diversity I call chaos. Genuine legitimate freedom is being begrudged us in favor of a need to demand that we feel a sense of supposed indebtedness to a bunch of self-pitying, self-aggrandizing special interest groups. Amazingly we are expected to trust the judgment of the likes of Al Sharpton, Barack Obama and television, movie and talk show personalities People are encouraged, now more than ever, to take advantage of each other for the sake of pleasure and profit. I like to mind my own business as much as possible but I’ve never been able to resist a good debate about these kinds of things. As everyone knows I’ve always been quite the staunch conservative. Liberalism, while claiming to reject censorship, presumes to censor each and every single move we make in order to affect a supposed Great Society. Lately there are movements afoot to ban the use of the words ‘retard’ and ‘bossy’. This is simply not permissible. Although I’ve always been determined to be as articulate as possible I have no intention of putting up with anyone else’s controlling my speech. Christianity (Catholicism) has always been so very important for me. Liberals, as well as other totalitarians, manipulators and control freaks, see fanaticism and hypocrisy in this claim because it begrudges them absolute control over people’s lives. They want a world devoid of formal or final causality because that would put them in charge. I like to be as strict an orthodox Catholic as possible. On an everyday basis I should really like to think that I do a reasonably good job of humoring people. I’ve always tried to be at least fairly good natured. Unfortunately I’ve always tended to be somewhat short tempered and I have a major problem with forgiveness. My ability to hold a grudge is quite legendary though I’m not very happy with it. At least I’ve learned over the years never deliberately to throw the first punch. Hep Larry understands that people are quite a mixed bag of nuts. Real Larry needs quite a few lessons in patience and understanding though. One lesson I have to keep track of is like the warning given by St. John of the Cross in his “The Living Flame of Love” about how each of us tends to see his own character traits, both good and bad, in other people. If I can have so hard a time dealing with a particular individual, I can just imagine how hysterical he must be over my character defects. As I said earlier keeping a very good sense of humor about life is exceptionally important. People can often be hard to take and I know they have the same problem with me too. Because each of us, in his life and worldview, has such a wide variety of distinct quirks and preferences, many of which deviate from those of other people, an inability to laugh at it all can be toxic. Because all the things I’ve been complaining about are forms of fanaticism, I really like to refrain from any sort of an extreme position about anything. In the end it’s all about text, context and subtext. Whenever someone pushes too hard he finds out in the end, the hard way, that things always backfire anyway.