Guadalupe (Lupita) Martinez was a young, lovely resident of Lindenhurst, N.Y., and an employee of the Acme Corporation on Wellwood Avenue in the middle of her Long Island village. With all her beauty, elegance, grace, intelligence, sophistication and education though, she thought it quite difficult to find a decent man. One day, her two best friends, Jenny Randy and Sharon Ferdinand, sick and tired of her non stop whining about her supposed impending spinsterhood, presumed to take it upon themselves to fix her up with a real gentleman. After having asked several other friends for help, they managed to end up with Sharon’s cousin Reginald who, they’d hoped, would strike her as at least an interesting decent guy. As it turns out, though, Reginald was a bit of a character, to put it as politely as possible. Having just broken up with his girlfriend, Rachel, he was more than somewhat prone toward irrational tendencies. His emotions overtook him so that he soon fancied himself a long-lost member of ancient Irish royalty. Lupita, though, having known nothing of his weird ways, never suspected anything when she took her friends up on their offer. At 8:00 on Friday night, she showed up, as agreed, at Katie Daly’s on Merrick Road in Massapequa, politely awaiting the arrival of her suitor. She thought it was going to be a typical blind date until she noticed his bodyguards. It turns out that he had really started to go entirely overboard with his latest fantasy. There he stood, all prim and proper, before her, in what he assumed was traditional ancient Irish garb. The poor fellow spent the entire night regaling her with stories of the spurious adventures of long-ago druids and other mythological characters, each of whom existed only in his hyperactive imagination. He drove Lupita crazy but she didn’t have the nerve to risk hurting his feelings. She felt awfully bad about how nasty a time she was having. After it was all over she went home, relieved to be free of him. The next day, when she got in touch with her friends, Sharon told her: “At least it’s only a once in a lifetime occurrence”. “You can count on an absolute guarantee of that!”, snapped Guadalupe.