Fibbing Friday

Fibbing Friday

What would Friday be without a chance to fib?

 

Today’s questions:

  1. What is in your left shoe?

  2. I have quite a very small marching band in there.

  3. What did the tooth fairy leave you on their last visit?

  She (Why does it say their?) left me the missing sock from every pair that’s ever been separated in the washing machine.

  1. What is your favorite soup?

  2. I like banana peel soup, but it’s out of season right now.

  3. What goes best with chocolate cake?

I can’t ever resist it with red wine and horseradish.

  1. What is the strangest thing you have found in your yard?

Jimmy Hoffa was playing badminton with Amelia Earhardt.

  1. What is the moon made out of?\

  2. It’s made out of cheap after shave and cologne.

  3. What is the real reason Pluto is not a planet?

Even in outer space, it’s always about politics.  No planet can share a name with a Disney character.

  1. Why do rabbits hop instead of walk?

  2. Rabbits don’t have much of a vocabulary, so gestures have to say it all.  Each hop means something in a  kind of mannerism..based speech and communication.

  3. Where was the last place you lost your car?

It was at a local farmer’s market. Some new salesmen accidentally used it as their produce stand.

  1. What was the last thing you borrowed?

  2. I borrowed a badminton racket from Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhardt.

  3. What is the black pearl?

  4. It was the original title of ‘The Exorcist’ but practically no one’s afraid of pearls.

  5. Twilight wasn’t about vampires, what was it really about?

  6. It was how to make a really good cream cheese and jelly sandwich.

  7. Cats and dogs really don’t hate each other, what do they do when we’re not looking?

  8. They party like it’s 1999. 

  9. What do fish do all day in their tanks?

  10. They tell bad jokes in a kind of piscine stand.up (float.around) comedy.

  11.  

It’s time for the Haunted Wordsmith’s Fibbing Friday .

Annunci

Fibbing Friday

What would Friday be without a chance for a little fibbing?

What are the biggest whoppers you can come up with to these questions:

  1. It wasn’t a message in a bottle that was found on the beach. What was found in it?

 

‘De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Dah’ (Have you listened to the Police lately or what?)

  1. What do the rings in trees really measure?

They measure the exact number of elves and faeries that can fit into them at any one time.

  1. What is one food that you cannot live without?

 

Although lasagne’s always been my very favorite that must not be it, because I don’t eat it the least bit frequently.  I seem absolutely to be required to eat any kind of junk food on a daily basis unfortunately.

  1. You thought you packed everything, but when you reached your destination, what had you forgotten to pack?

 

Somehow I’d plum forgotten to pack my official Captain America Fan Club badge. It always gets me free admission and drastic discounts everywhere I go.

 

 

  1. We’ve gotten Halloween wrong for centuries. What is it really and when it is celebrated?  

  2. It really should be celebrated on January 4, in order to commemorate the day, in 1486, when Ennio Friccencicca discovered the Friccencicca Sea.

    1. How old are you? 

    2. I’m old enough to remember when black and white was an economic necessity, to be settled for, rather than an avant~garde art form.

  3. Why do people really wear glasses?

 

I think it’s because paper cups are out of style.

 

Old people aren’t senile. What are they?

They’re playing along with their image.   It’s considered proper etiquette at their age to follow a certain terribly eccentric protocol.

  1. When people say they are just talking to themselves, who are they talking to really?

 

That’s a polite euphemism for an adult’s version of an imaginary friend.

 

 

What goes best with corned beef?

 

I like it in a milk shake with strawberries. Oddly, some people like it with either cabbage or pastrami.

 

 

  1. How do you like to end your day?

 

I like to end it by putting my socks and undershorts into completely different places. It’s good to keep track of which is which.

 

How should Star Trek have ended?

 

The crew of the Enterprise should have landed in Hooterville and gone into business with Mr. Haney.

  1. What movie or book has the best ending?  

 

I like Samuel Beckett’s ending of ‘Waiting For Godot’. Since Godot never shows up, it’s a lot more relaxed than the kind of ending where you have to deal with a reaction to something specific.

 

 

Here’s Fibbing Friday by the Haunted Wordsmith.

Fibbing Friday

What would Friday be without a chance to tell a little fib?

You can respond in the comments or in a post of your own.

Prepare your best whoppers to these questions and have fun!

 

 

This week we are going to take a trip into fairy tales, legends, and tall tales 🙂

  1. You are Cinderella’s fairy god parent…what clothes do you give her?

I can give her, silk, cotton, anything but polyester.  As a teenager in the ’70’s I developed quite a loathing for such a horrid thing.

  1. Snow White lived in the woods, but it wasn’t with seven dwarfs…what/who did she live with?

She lived with seven major character defects and that was her euphemism for them.  On her bad days she was very hard to handle.

  1. Beast wasn’t cursed! The story got it all wrong. What was wrong with Belle?

There was no curse. Belle was just allergic to the kind of animal he was turned into.

  1. Hansel and Gretel didn’t kill the witch! What did happen to her?

They convinced her to eat the duck.  Since then she spent the rest of her life duck hunting.   Everyone knows witches really enjoy ducks.

  1. Johnny Appleseed didn’t plant apple trees…what did he do?

He was in charge of a merry~go~round but Johnny Horsesincircles is such a silly name so….

  1. Casey didn’t strike out at bat. He wasn’t even a baseball player. What was he and what really happened to him?

He was a ghost writer for the Grateful Dead.  Jerry Garcia stole Mountain Girl from him and he demanded restitution.  They used him as a character in a song.

  1. History got it all wrong as usual…Paul Bunyan wasn’t a giant lumberjack. What was he?

He was an average~sized podiatrist, but no one wants to perpetuate a legend of a podiatrist who’s named after a foot problem.

  1. Jack didn’t find a goose that lays golden eggs in the giant’s castle…what did he find?

He found hound dogs playing poker.

  1. What was the Ugly Duckling’s real story?

It wasn’t really ugly ugly.  It was just horribly out of style, and a total square. 

  1. The sky wasn’t falling on Chicken Little. What was happening?

After its having taken an antibiotic, there was an allergic reaction, kind of like vertigo.

  1. Sleeping Beauty wasn’t really sleeping, what did she want to avoid doing?

She was forced to take bassoon lessons, and she could never stand the bassoon.

 

Fibbing Friday

What would a Friday be without the chance to fib? So, put on your thinking caps and prepare your biggest whopper. This coming week is my son’s spring break and created the theme for this week.

Here are this week’s questions:

  1. You wanted to book a trip to Athens, but the agent misunderstood you…where did they send you?
  2. He sent me to East Greenche, which was founded by a man who garbled the letters in ‘Athens, Greece’.  I once met someone who scrambled the letters in ‘Germany’, and met Meg Ryan.

  3. What will customs agents find in your luggage?
  4. They’ll find American water.  I’ve often heard that foreign waters can be so dangerous.

  5. What do you sneak aboard the flight, and what do you sneak it in?
  6. I’ll take D.V.D.’s of “The Addams Family” T.V. show, hidden in a large potato chip container, so no one will know.

  7. The plane crashes — everyone survives — where did you crash?
  8. It was a marshmallow farm.  No one ever gets hurt from marshmallows.

  9. What are three things you find at your crash site?

I find a pair of undershorts I lost fifteen years ago, the meaning of life, and spam.

  1. Survivors see a rescue opportunity but don’t take it…why?

The people in charge have invited them to a square dance.

  1. What are you finally rescued by?

We were rescued by an artist.  He drew us an escape route.

  1. What is the first thing you do when you get back home?

Show people my Youtube videos of all my exciting adventures.

  1. The airline offers you money, but you turn it down…what do you get instead?

I asked for a promise to do it again, at least once yearly, from now on.

  1. You decide that a cruise is safer, where do you go?

I’m going to Scranton, but it won’t be easy, considering that it’s landlocked all the way.

  1. You get marooned on a deserted island but find huts and scientific equipment made out of coconuts…what happened to Gilligan and the Skipper?

They got together with people from ‘Northern Exposure’ and established the People’s Republic of Alaska And Hawaii as a new sovereign nation.

  1. A fishing boat rescues you, but you have to pay Poseidon for safe passage…what do you pay?

I’ve heard Poseidon’s always been so very adventurous so I’ve promised to pay him in scuba diving lessons.

  1. He rejects your fare and throws you across the world…you land safely, but where do you end up?

I’m now in Scranton, visiting Edith Bunker’s Aunt Iola.

  1. How does your story end?

It ends very dramatically, as the soundtrack music plays, and the closing credits are displayed upon the screen.

Fibbing Friday

What would a Friday be without the chance to fib? So, put on your thinking caps and prepare your biggest whopper.

Here are this week’s questions:

  1. What did the fox say?

I’m not really that pretty, but my make up does wonders for my appearance.

2. What really ran Grandma over?

My 1992 Saturn SC. That’s why I was forced to get rid of it.

3. Those aren’t elves in Santa’s workshop…what are they?

Escapees from another dimension.  The only things they’re capable of handling on Earth are toys.

 

   4. What were the milkman’s confessions?

The milkman only goes to Confession at midnight and always says “Na na na na na na na na na na”.

 

 

5.The Mad Hatter wasn’t really a hatter, what was his occupation?

He sold chess sets to neurotic queens and talking dormice.

6. What is your favorite sandwich?

In honor of ‘The Brady Bunch’ and ‘The Odd Couple’, I enjoy sandwiches made of either pork chops and apple sauce, or lasagne and French fries.

 

7.What do you like to curl up with on cold winter nights?

A map of a  country on the Equator.

8. Davy Jones doesn’t have a locker…what does he have?

Bobblehead Monkees dolls.

9. Blackbeard was a not a pirate…what was he?

My eighth grade history teacher.

10. What are the real directions to Neverland?

It’s exactly equidistant between Sometimesland and Alwaysland.

11. Why do people in old tv shows and movies spend so much time sitting on their front porch?

They were waiting patiently for the cows to come home.

12.  What really happened to the three little pigs?

     The cow, each time it jumped over the moon, pulled the hairs on their chinny~chin~chins.

13. What really is Trump’s Space Force?

Ford’s and Reagan’s leftover English muffins and jelly beans.

14. Who brings the Easter eggs?

The chicken does, whenever it crosses the road. 

15. What is down the rabbit hole?

A parallel universe.

 

 

 

Welcome back to Fibbing Friday  .   This is only my second entry, so far, in this category.

 

 

 

FIBBING FRIDAY

  1. What did you find in the unopened can of mixed nuts?

    Basketballs and penguins

  2. What is your favorite thing to drink?

    Huckleberry~flavored turpentine

  3. What flavor of pudding is your favorite?

    Sauerkraut

  4. They just cancelled your favorite TV show – what do you do?

    Learn to crochet

  5. What is the answer to 3 Down?

    Rudolf Valentino

  6. What is your favorite way to spend a winter day?

    Stuck in traffic on I~81

  7. What goes best with plaid?

    Cranberry juice

  8. What do Scots wear under their kilts?

    Gum drops and marshmallows

  9. How did the platypus get its name?

    From an old poem by Petrarch

  10. What is over the next hill?

    Swiss cheese

  11. What (or who) is going to be in your will?

    My imaginary friends

  12. What do you like to snack on when watching sports?

    The color blue

  13. You find a treasure map – what is the treasure?

    Last night’s leftovers

  14. They are making a movie of your life – what is the biggest whopper they invent?

    I was once King of Prussia

  15. What did you find in the bag of chips/crisps?

    The Lindbergh baby

  16. Bollocks doesn’t mean what Americans think it does…what does it really mean?

    Kosher food with a ribbon on it

  17. What is shephard’s pie really made out of?

    Wool

  18. Cinderella didn’t lose her glass slipper – what did she lose?

    A chess game

  19. The moon is not made out of cheese or rock – it’s made out of what?

    Banana peels

  20. What did you give the last person who asked you for a tip?

    The flu

Welcome to my very first attempt at Teresa’s Fibbing Friday.  I hope it all works out so well.