Harvey and George finally got a chance to spend a few minutes away from Muriel and Gloria while they were on vacation.
“Yeah, Bruh,” Harvey gushed to his oldest friend, “This is the life. If we could live close to a place like this, life would be an absolute feast. Don’t listen to those lunatic girls, with their fad diets.”
“Absolutely!” George admitted. “I’m so sick and tired of all their healthy fads, for fear of made up cooties like lactose, gluten, and crap like that. They’re just money~making scams anyway.”
Eventually, after having had too much of a feast, the boys started feeling wiped out. Exhausted, they asked for some Alka~Seltzer. George pointed out: “Just because their diet is a disease, doesn’t mean ours is necessarily a perfect cure. We pushed it too far and it became an equivalent disease.”
“You know those novels and short stories, like Oscar Wilde’s ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’, and Kafka’s ‘The Metamorphosis?’ Elzo asked his friend Ennio on the phone.
“Yeah?” the unsuspecting sidekick admitted.
“Well,” the former tried to explain, “I think we have to talk.”
“Hey,” Ennio stammered. “I’ve been trying to arrange this blind date for you and Sharon for the past six months! She’s such a sweet girl. I’m sure she’ll humor you.”
Reluctantly, Elzo agreed to meet her at a nearby restaurant for supper.
First there were the introductions.
“So,” she started. “Ennio says you’re a history teacher.”
“Yes,” he chimed in. “How do you like being a nurse?”
Amazingly the otherwise inevitable small talk went on quite well. The friends gawked back and forth at each other, wondering how she could possibly not have noticed anything’s being amiss.
Eventually Ennio and his girlfriend Mabel excused themselves and left early so the two could be alone.
Sensing that now was his perfect chance, Elzo asked Sharon for an explanation.
“Why haven’t you even so much as flinched?” he wondered.
“Friend,” she replied slowly, “I am a minion from a Satanic cult. I merely assumed you were one of us. Haven’t you ever heard that Vishnu was once incarnated as a boar?”
From there she proceeded to explain to him all about Manicheans, gnostics, gods ranging from Pan to Moloch.
The befuddled swain tried, as gallantly as he could, to humor her for as long as it was unavoidably necessary. At the end of the evening he politely said his good~byes and left.
The next day Ennio and Mabel couldn’t wait for a full account of all that transpired over the course of the fateful tryst.
“Well maybe I’m in no position to be picky these days, considering my circumstances,” he explained, “but have you ever gotten the impression that maybe someone’s just not quite all that nice of a catch?”
Welcome back to MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie , where we, weekly, write a story based upon a photo prompt. This week Nekneeraj, our host, gives us an image by Igor Morski.
“Ellen and Fred are apparently destined always to sit right in front of me,” Ralph thought.
“It all started in Southwick’s seventh grade history class. Now we’re in Hempton’s eleventh grade chemistry class, and I’m still forced to put up with my ideal woman’s constantly sitting with the likes of that clown.”
Mr. Hempton was pacing around the front of the classroom with his trademark shirt~inevitably either pink or white~and tie, trying to remain patient with his lovelorn pupil.
“Mr. Gerrity,” he tactfully asked, “What is a mole?”
“6.02 times ten to the twenty third, sir,” his young charged stated.
“Oh well,” the smitten boy thought, “That’s one break but it can’t last.”
Throughout the rest of the period he continued vacillating between daydreaming and trying to pay attention.
“I wonder if they have anything like Alka~Seltzer in the cafeteria vending machines,” he thought.
Time lingered. Ralph and Mr. Hempton continued their ritual. Amazingly neither Fred nor Ellen, for one second, came close to catching onto anything.
The bell finally rang. “Oh well,” the young swain thought, “At least I sort of get a break…only for a little while.”
“I’ve been talking to Fraser, the history professor, and to Father Anthony, who’s from here,” Trevor reminded Raquel.
“Perfect!” his wife gushed. “Each one has a bottomless pit of knowledge of this part of Africa. That’s a perfect way to keep people’s interest. One is an expert on the didactic side and the other on the narrative side.”
“The number of people living in utter poverty grew from fifty one million in 1990 to eighty six million in 2013. Along with that we can talk about the Civil war between Nigeria and Biafra between July of ’67 and January, ’70.”
“There’s one catch,” Trevor reminded her. “Considering that we’re asking for help with getting people jobs, health care, and education, it might be to our advantage to set the film in a less idyllic places. Imagery makes a difference.
The couple then proceeded to make the necessary phone calls.
Welcome back, yet again to What Pegman Saw , a weekly prompt based upon a Google geographic location. Fraser and Fr. Anthony are real people.
Sadie and Albert, after having been subjected to a lot of stress for a prolonged period of time, finally decided to take a long vacation.
“Of all the places even to think of, though,” she pondered, “why Wyoming?”
“I told you,” he explained. “Vittorio couldn’t stop raving about it. While we’re here I intend to do nothing but practice my guitar and Italian. You can do whatever you like. The view is perfect. We can take long walks together and enjoy the scenery, and the peace and quiet.”
Throughout the week, Albert, true to his word, constantly practiced Italian: “Sto, stai, sta, stiamo, state, stanno,” day and night. Even his entire guitar repertoire was mostly “La Spagnola”.
At the end of their trip, Sadie asked Albert: “I have one request, honey, for next year’s vacation. If you have to ask for advice, please ask someone whose name is in English?”