Autore: larry trasciatti

I was born in northeastern Pa. raised in N.Y. and live in Pa. I am a member of the Lay Carmelites of Northeastern Pa. My points of view are entirely conservative & utterly pro_western culture.

Fibbing Friday

What would a Friday be without the chance to fib? So, put on your thinking caps and prepare your biggest whopper. This coming week is my son’s spring break and created the theme for this week.

Here are this week’s questions:

  1. You wanted to book a trip to Athens, but the agent misunderstood you…where did they send you?
  2. He sent me to East Greenche, which was founded by a man who garbled the letters in ‘Athens, Greece’.  I once met someone who scrambled the letters in ‘Germany’, and met Meg Ryan.

  3. What will customs agents find in your luggage?
  4. They’ll find American water.  I’ve often heard that foreign waters can be so dangerous.

  5. What do you sneak aboard the flight, and what do you sneak it in?
  6. I’ll take D.V.D.’s of “The Addams Family” T.V. show, hidden in a large potato chip container, so no one will know.

  7. The plane crashes — everyone survives — where did you crash?
  8. It was a marshmallow farm.  No one ever gets hurt from marshmallows.

  9. What are three things you find at your crash site?

I find a pair of undershorts I lost fifteen years ago, the meaning of life, and spam.

  1. Survivors see a rescue opportunity but don’t take it…why?

The people in charge have invited them to a square dance.

  1. What are you finally rescued by?

We were rescued by an artist.  He drew us an escape route.

  1. What is the first thing you do when you get back home?

Show people my Youtube videos of all my exciting adventures.

  1. The airline offers you money, but you turn it down…what do you get instead?

I asked for a promise to do it again, at least once yearly, from now on.

  1. You decide that a cruise is safer, where do you go?

I’m going to Scranton, but it won’t be easy, considering that it’s landlocked all the way.

  1. You get marooned on a deserted island but find huts and scientific equipment made out of coconuts…what happened to Gilligan and the Skipper?

They got together with people from ‘Northern Exposure’ and established the People’s Republic of Alaska And Hawaii as a new sovereign nation.

  1. A fishing boat rescues you, but you have to pay Poseidon for safe passage…what do you pay?

I’ve heard Poseidon’s always been so very adventurous so I’ve promised to pay him in scuba diving lessons.

  1. He rejects your fare and throws you across the world…you land safely, but where do you end up?

I’m now in Scranton, visiting Edith Bunker’s Aunt Iola.

  1. How does your story end?

It ends very dramatically, as the soundtrack music plays, and the closing credits are displayed upon the screen.

Annunci

A Wake Up Call

“I’ve always had quite a major problem with Insomnia,”  Bubbele told Querida Mia.  “Even at my very best,” he went on, “I’ve been prone toward waking up several times nightly, then going back to sleep.  Often I can remember my dreams, which tend  to be quite offbeat.”

 

 

Querida Mia, dumbfounded, gave him quite  a smirk, as they sat casually in their Basement.   “I find it rather difficult to believe,” she complained, “that your supposed problem is all that impossible to handle.”

 

 

“Oh really?” he complained. “Is that so? Well, in that case, perchance you’d like me to explain to you just exactly what kinds of insights I’ve come up with lately by my having meditated for three hours at a time, in the middle of the night, on the fact that ‘Meringue” rhymes with ‘harangue.'”

 

 

Here’s me latest attempt at the Three Things Challenge.  The words for this one are:     insomnia, meringue, basement.

Litany of the Passion of Jesus — SacredHymns

By the blood that flow’d from thee In thy bitter agony, By the scourge so meekly borne, By thy purple robe of scorn,— Chorus Jesu, Saviour, hear our cry! Thou wert suffering once as we; Hear the loving Litany We, thy children, sing to thee. By the thorns that crown’d thy head, By thy sceptre […]

via Litany of the Passion of Jesus — SacredHymns

Gabba Gabba Hey

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I lived in Queens until around my twelfth birthday, and I’ve always missed it.  I’ve always been such a square.   Recently I went to the library to hear a speech by Donna Gaines, a Ramones scholar.

 

Throughout the speech, I kept daydreaming about June 8, 1980, when my cousin, his girlfriend, some friends, and I went to a Ramones concert at Great Adventure.

 

 

Donna’s speech was good, but it wasn’t as interesting as being twenty years old, seeing the real Ramones. They were my fellow squares from Queens.

 

 

Please join Froggy, Rochelle, and everyone else, for Friday Fictioneers.

 

Stray Livestock

“I’ve just found out,” said Lum, “that there was a cow walking on the Major Deegan Expressway in the Bronx.”

 

 

“I don’t believe you,” replied Abner. 

 

 

“I kid you not,” the former insisted.

 

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” his friend replied.  “That’s the last thing anyone would expect. Everyone knows a cow would be smart enough to Drive.”

 

 

 

Rules of the hop:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word.
Come back here on Thursday, link your post…
Spread the word and put in a good one to your fellow writers 🙂PROMPT WORD: DRIVE

 

Here’s my very first ever entry for Sunday’s Six Sentence Story Word Prompt.    I have no idea what Clarklike  means, but that’s what she is.

 

 

TWIN STUDIES: Homosexuality

twin-241x300My wife’s dream was to always have twins but that dream never came to pass, instead God gave us 4 kids. My wife’s dream stopped not when we had 4 kids but after having coming to the church we currently serve at where we’ve observed not 1; not 2; not 3; not 4 but 5 families with twins, including another family with triplets. I’ve never met so many twins in my entire life until I began serving at this church I currently pastor at. We never realized how hard it would be to raise two identical children at the same time until seeing these parents raise them and so to my relief my wife’s dream was quickly dispelled. But I was surprised by more than just the number of twins at our church, I was surprised to learn that we have identical twins where one identifies as a bisexual and…

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