Tommy walked toward a mirror in his grandparents’ attic. Strictly forbidden or not, he got too close. As anyone could have suspected, he was promptly greeted by seven handsome young gents, and seven lovely young maidens.
“Drink from the red cup it makes you small. Drink from the blue cup it makes you tall,” they chanted in perfect harmony.
They then pointed him toward a large yellow door and bade him knock upon it. Before our young protagonist got a chance to drink from his chosen cup they already tried to cajole him past this most lugubrious borderline. Besides that, they were so naughty, they wouldn’t even tell him what ‘lugubrious’ meant.
Upon his having chided them for their confusing vocabulary, they admitted, “Oh My that’s so very perspicacious of you, now , isn’t it?”
“You see,” he complained. “There you go again. Egad, you fictional characters are always doing that, flaunting your superior diction.”
“If it makes you feel any better,” the leader admitted, “We’re quite cognizant of our propensity toward effete diction.”
After quite an unusually long and confusing time of all this hoo~hah, the boy finally gave up on it all, and tried to figure out a way to get back home. Upon his finally arrived back at his grandparents’ house, he explained what had transpired.
“Your grandmother and I arranged it all, young man,” said Grandpa, “So you could improve your vocabulary.”