Such A Lovely Girl

I see her, often, from afar.

Don’t let the biker chick persona fool you.

Ciara lights up a room on weekends.

All her beauty, elegance, and grace

Come to life when in taffeta and lace.

Her true beauty time alone can never mar.

In her presence sweet true love will overrule you

And Heaven with mere Earth forever blends.

O how I wish that she were truly mine.

For she is beautiful and feminine.

 

 

Welcome to SUNDAY MUSE # 56 .

 

 

27 thoughts on “Such A Lovely Girl

  1. coalblack says:

    I’m not sure what makes this poetry. Take out the line breaks and change “O” to “Oh” and it’s just straight prose. Besides, pedestals are boring places to be placed on. I read this as her making a statement (and it may be bullshit,or not) and the speaker saying no, no, you’re really soft and sweet. Pffft, I bet she shows him soft and sweet.

    –coal (Fireblossom)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. larry trasciatti says:

      Over the course of the past quite a while, I’ve been reading things by so many people who claim that there are so few restrictions and demands about what qualifies something as legitimate poetry that it gets quite confusing trying to figure out exactly what its legitimate requirements are

      Like

      1. coalblack says:

        Imo, fully half of what is posted on line as poetry–isn’t. It’s prose or journaling. Simply chopping writing up into little lines does not make it poetry, but people present it as such all the time, you’re right. Prose simply states a thing: “He broke my heart.” Poetry must have poetic imagery. “He left me a gift–a small voracious animal of pain which lives restlessly behind my ribs.” Form is also very helpful in poetry, though not required. I know you know this, because you have posted several interesting forms. Finally, while prose states, poetry suggests. Prose: “I’m lonely.” Poetry: “A dripping faucet kept me awake last night; I never noticed it before. The coffee pot is cold beneath my fingers, and silent as a sanctimonious neighbor. The cat offers no suggestions.” So, poetic imagery, metaphor, simile, perhaps form, and a way of saying a thing that may be indirect but which somehow makes it hit home harder. Prose is a workman with a hammer. Poetry is a look in the eyes.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. larry trasciatti says:

        You’re the first one who’s complained about anything I’v’e written here . I’ve been wondering why no one else ever has. I hope you can understand my side of things, and please keep the comments coming in case you’re the only one who can help with the necessary complaints

        Like

      1. larry trasciatti says:

        Thanks. There are some people here~ I’ve met a couple~who are so harsh that I get the impression I may not be any good. The extreme majority ,though, are too complimentary. I hope you’re trying to be as objectively neutral as possible. That’s the only right legitimate way

        Like

      1. kanzensakura says:

        Breaking prose into lines does not make it poetry. If you take the line breaks away it will read as poetry. But what do I know? I only have an MFA and a PhD in fine arts.

        Like

  2. wyndolynne says:

    Because everyone reads things differently…I can’t help but read this as if the person is, essentially, performing a prompt within a prompt. That is, not knowing Ciara at all but just running a fantasia upon her duality & picking a favorite myth of who she is.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Carrie V. H. says:

    Sorry I took so long getting back with you Larry. I am learning more about free verse just like you Larry. It is poetry to me, and you did have some rhyme in the mix as well, but i am no expert. Being a poet is a journey, and we get better with time, like they say about old wine. Wow I just rhymed…LOL…I have a bad habit of being a bad critique. I just take the positive out of what I read and ride with it, and I think in poetry, different people take different things from what the poet is saying. But I am also easy to please when it comes to someone writing. ( I am the one that says stunning on poems LOL) Sometimes we all need a good critique and you are getting one from a true poetry expert Coalblack is a genius of her art. So do listen to what she has to say. It will help you. So my answer is this,a question for you, is it poetry to you? Others had some good points, and they will be useful for you and I think I can learn from it as well. Free verse is tricky, it is definitely out of my comfort zone. Keep on writing, and learn from others and what they have to say. Also, it is vital to reciprocate with comments. Blogging is a relationship of writing/being heard and in-turn reading others/and responding to their voice. It will be a blessing that bounces both ways. Keep writing Larry. 🙂 Live and learn that is all any of us can do.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ed Rigg says:

    But Larry, you miss us all because you never visit us . . . Being in a group is all about intigrating. I am a newcomer and I suspect I write more like prose than poetry but these ladies are real experts and we can learn such a lot from them . .

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 1sojournal says:

    Thanks for your visit to Soul’s Music. When I started blogging, ten years ago, it was a prose site meant to get people to try to put on a regular writing regimen, even if it was no more than one page a day. Everything we write is practice. But, even if you have no desire to become a writer, writing everyday is a healthy therapeutic tool because it begins the process of making friends with the self, the only person we can ever really know. I entered college at the age of 36, and found that I could write poetry. But, where I come from, the word poetry makes eyes glass over. Eventually, I did start another blog for the poetry. Some of it good, some of it needing a lot more work. Again, it’s all practice. I agree with the others who feel your poem is a bit of fantasy, not about a real person, but some sort of ideal longed for. And because it is an ideal, it doesn’t penetrate to the emotional level that good poetry should aim to touch, using metaphor and simile, with bits of physical reality. I wish you luck on your journey. Mine is almost forty years old and began in college. And I’m the first to admit that I don’t know everything.

    Elizabeth

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ashes4him says:

    Hi larry trasciatti, I like your poem, Such A Lovely Girl. Poetry is be what ever the author-creator decides poetry is to them. It’s the beauty of creativity and its what artist do best – create. Keep writing and creating your pieces for the Master Creator!
    And thank you, for liking my hisscaredheart1 post.
    ashes4him

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s