“You know those novels and short stories, like Oscar Wilde’s ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’, and Kafka’s ‘The Metamorphosis?’ Elzo asked his friend Ennio on the phone.
“Yeah?” the unsuspecting sidekick admitted.
“Well,” the former tried to explain, “I think we have to talk.”
“Hey,” Ennio stammered. “I’ve been trying to arrange this blind date for you and Sharon for the past six months! She’s such a sweet girl. I’m sure she’ll humor you.”
Reluctantly, Elzo agreed to meet her at a nearby restaurant for supper.
First there were the introductions.
“So,” she started. “Ennio says you’re a history teacher.”
“Yes,” he chimed in. “How do you like being a nurse?”
Amazingly the otherwise inevitable small talk went on quite well. The friends gawked back and forth at each other, wondering how she could possibly not have noticed anything’s being amiss.
Eventually Ennio and his girlfriend Mabel excused themselves and left early so the two could be alone.
Sensing that now was his perfect chance, Elzo asked Sharon for an explanation.
“Why haven’t you even so much as flinched?” he wondered.
“Friend,” she replied slowly, “I am a minion from a Satanic cult. I merely assumed you were one of us. Haven’t you ever heard that Vishnu was once incarnated as a boar?”
From there she proceeded to explain to him all about Manicheans, gnostics, gods ranging from Pan to Moloch.
The befuddled swain tried, as gallantly as he could, to humor her for as long as it was unavoidably necessary. At the end of the evening he politely said his good~byes and left.
The next day Ennio and Mabel couldn’t wait for a full account of all that transpired over the course of the fateful tryst.
“Well maybe I’m in no position to be picky these days, considering my circumstances,” he explained, “but have you ever gotten the impression that maybe someone’s just not quite all that nice of a catch?”