the patron saint of the far out

If, three hundred years from now, I could be named the patron saint of something,   it would have to be anything offbeat.   I’ve always had quite an eccentric sense of humor and a somewhat distinctive approach to life in general too.   Even as a kid I was always the one with the obnoxious annoying attitude and disposition.    My way of dealing with things isn’t really the least bit bad.   It’s just entirely distinctive in the sense of my always seeming to come up with the kinds of ideas and behavior that strike other people as hard to understand.    I seem to specialize in all sorts of things that no one else is quite ready for.   In a world where practically everyone really likes sports, animals and “Star Trek”, I’ve never been even the least bit interested in any of them.   When my cousins and I used to bowl, a while ago with the Knights of Columbus, I was often put on the spot because even though I’m left handed, I’ve always really liked to wear my watch on my left wrist.    Everyone complained that no one ever wears his watch on his dominant wrist.     Even though I’ve never been the least bit interested in sports I’ve always told people that the Mets are my favorite team because when I was a kid I lived in their neighborhood.    People frequently reminds me that if someone doesn’t even like sports then by definition he can’t possibly have a favorite team.   My sense of humor is another trait in which I specialize in veering always toward the overly distinctive.    A distinguishing trait of my approach to humor is my never ending tendency to bombard people with references which no one recognizes.    In my world there’s nothing so interesting as the never ending barrage of non sequiturs.     It would be quite accurate to say that my never ending unpredictability has always been my trademark.     It kind of helps that I’ve also always been quite knowledgeable about all sorts of obscure things, sort of like a combination of Cliff Clavin and Diane Chambers.   Just imagine the kind of son they could have had.   That’s pretty much how I am.    It’s not that I deliberately go out of my way inevitably to say and to do things that are in any way whatsoever the least bit maliciously inappropriate.    I’m just a bit too far out for just anyone’s taste.    If, however, someone is willing and able to try to handle an exceptionally colorful trip with all sorts of hep twists and turns, having me around can be quite enjoyable.


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