bitter and twisted

Ideally I should like to think that I’ve always been quite the good natured sort of a perfect gentleman.  Unfortunately, though, I seem to have quite a significant problem with anger and resentment when someone has hurt me very badly.    Although I find it very easy to acknowledge my obligation to forgive, life in practice, unfortunately has never made it even the least bit easy for me to do so.   I’ve been hurt significantly frequently, and significantly deeply, over the course of my lifetime by exactly the very same people whom I should have every right to trust more than anyone.    That kind of complete betrayal is supremely difficult for me to accept.   Throughout my life, I’ve been known as quite supremely good natured.    That’s very easy when only entirely lightweight matters are involved.   When, however, someone deals me entirely too profound a blow, the sparks really start to fly.   I get sick and tired of all the platitudes people are  constantly throwing around about how lack of forgiveness hurts me more than it hurts exactly the very characters I so bitterly resent, and I also get disgusted with all the accusations of my supposed hypocrisy.   Although I can understand that there’s a certain element of truth to those claims, they’re still a bunch of brain dead platitudes. resentmentEveryone knows that resentment, or lack of forgiveness, is based entirely upon phony pride.    Mankind has always been prone toward this problem since the third chapter of the book of Genesis, and it’s how Lucifer became Satan in the first place.   My tendency toward holding a grudge is quite intense.   It’s sort of like when someone gets hurt physically and the aftermath of his injury, in the form of bruises, scars, or some diminished capacity,  drives him to frustration.    The problem with injury of an emotional nature is analogous to that.    Dostoyevsky, in his novel, “The Possessed”, rightly points out that “No one recognizes his own stink”.    I’ve always bitterly despised liberalism for, among other things, its pronounced determination to foment a sense of bitterness, resentment and entitlement among women, minorities, the sexually dysfunctional and other darlings of the left, over all the real and imagined affronts to which they claim to have been subjected.    I do the same thing, though, when I allow my unforgiving side to overtake me.   It’s evil when somebody else takes that approach to things.   By definition, therefore, it simply must be equally evil when I do exactly the very same thing.


On the eve of a grudge storm: You will succumb

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