you’re pushing too hard

Throughout my life, I’ve never been comfortable with conflict.    Over the years I’ve often noticed that there are many individuals with whom I simply can’t possibly even try to get along.   As far as I’m concerned, once I notice that kind of problem, I virtually wash my hands, to whatever degree it’s permissible, of someone like that.   Perhaps I tend too often, unfortunately, to engage in a passive aggressive approach to conflict.   There’s a very significant chance that when I know I’m in the wrong, I  can be counted on to procrastinate for the sake of avoiding having to face up to my just deserts.   No one likes to get into trouble and I’ve always been the absolute master of avoiding the moment of truth.  The most anyone can possibly expect do, though, is  to postpone his inevitable comeuppance.    I should like to think that all my moments of sullenness, bitterness, resentment, hypersensitivity and any other kinds of aberrant behavior I’m capable of exhibiting are infrequent and temporary.     One of my most notorious character defects has always been my mercilessly brutal temper in the face of someone who shows me absolutely no respect whatsoever.    On the bright side, I tend, under relatively normal circumstances, not to go overboard.    There should be absolutely no reason whatsoever for anyone rock.sock

to expect me even to think of being inordinately nasty without extreme provocation.   As a general rule, I must have been doing something right under most circumstances because my track record doesn’t give any indication of my being any worse than anyone else.     Throughout the time I went to school, and at many jobs I’ve gotten as an adult, there’s always seemed to have been someone in each crowd who’s felt entirely too free to push me around.    That’s when my truly creepy side has always come out.    The internet world provides people with quite a convenient way of avoiding trouble when there’s a conflict.    Unlike real life circumstances, when two or more people get into an altercation online, each of them can very easily dismiss its significance merely by focusing his attention elsewhere.     The kind of trouble that happens in person is much more annoying because there’s nowhere to hide.    The best I can say is that under normal circumstances I’ve always been quite reasonable and agreeable.   My major flaw is a result of the fact that things don’t always work out very smoothly and that in the face of extreme pressure my emotions too often tend to take such nasty twists and turns.


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