i’m just a jealous guy

Conveniently I can honestly say that I’ve never been particularly envious or jealous in my dealings with others.   One thing, though, that’s always bothered me most especially is my complete lack of any physical strength, manual dexterity, or coordination in general whatsoever.   I can most certainly understand my not ever having had the right to use it as an excuse either to avoid difficult annoying physical work, or to feel sorry for myself,jealousybut it’s always driven me crazy that even most very slight fragile looking people have always seemed to have had an advantage over me when it comes to strength and coordination.   When I was a kid in grammar school it took me significantly longer, compared to the other kids I knew, to learn to ride a bicycle.   My attempts at learning to skate were quite an absolute nightmare.    Over the course of my school days, each of my gym classes invariably ended in pain and hyperventilation.    As a kid, of course, each of us is expected to deal with quite a collection of crude, anti social creeps among the people he’s forced to associate with.    It’s not so bad now that I’m an adult but when I was a kid the big mean kids drove me nuts.    I can remember that when I was a kid, and I  shook the hands  of my cousins Gary and Larry, who are two and a half and five years older than I,  when I noticed how firm their handshakes were,  I kept thinking that I needed a few more years to catch up.   When I shook hands with my cousins Ron and Joe, who are ten and twelve years older than I, I thought there was bound to be some improvement over the course of the next entire decade.   Alas, though, no such an increase in muscle has ever happened for me.  Since I’ve never enjoyed sports anyway, I’ve obviously never minded that nobody ever wants me to play on his team, but for other things, including simple practical realities, it would have been nice if I could have come up with quite a bit more strength and agility.    I’ve always realized that I could have been in much worse shape.   There are many millions of people in the world who have genuine handicaps.   My problem is just a well above average kind and degree of annoyance and frustration.  By now I’ve learned to accept the fact that it will always be significantly more difficult for me to pick up fairly heavy things, to do things that require a reasonable amount of manual dexterity, or to open the lid of a jar.    No one’s life is perfect.   Conveniently nothing life-threatening, or even significantly bad, has ever happened to me as a result of this trouble.   It’s just a major source of aggravation and frustration.   I simply bluff my way through life as everyone’s very favorite klutz and weakling.    There’s no point in an individual’s bothering to try to do what he’s never going even to be capable of anyway.


9 thoughts on “i’m just a jealous guy

  1. Pingback: Lovers In A Box

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