pressure pressure i got pressure

I’ve always been subjected, especially since I’ve been an adult, to succumbing to a lot of anxiety when I’m under a significant amount of pressure.    When I was very young I was quite prone to anxiety and panic attacks.    In those days I always got violent migraines and a sick stomach when I was subjected to too much tension.    My hands shook and my mouth got dry.   Since then though I’ve learned how to handle things much more easily.   Much of my trouble came from too much coffee.   Anyone who’s been the victim of a food allergy knows that it can be quite a nightmare if not properly dealt with.      Upon my having learned to accept the fact that caffeine was provoking all this trouble in my life, I started making sure I stayed away from coffee under circumstances that required my undivided attention and competence.    Absent mindedness has always been quite a problem for me when I’m under pressure.    My mind wanders and I forget important things.     The best thing for me to do is to make sure I write down, in advance, anything that is absolutely required of me.   I also always make sure I go to bed early each night and get up early each morning, especially when I have to be available for something important.     Even now that most of my problems with anxiety have very much subsided I still tend to get restless and frustrated when I’m kept waiting for something.     I’ve always been compulsively punctual to the point of showing up obscenely early for everything.    Although punctuality is considered a valuable asset at any job, or for any task in general, most people get quite frustrated at my knack for showing up entirely too early.    Things that ordinarily shouldn’t be very stressful, such as a long ride in a car or plane, or having to deal with strangers or new experiences, often drive me to inordinate kinds and degrees of frustration.    I’ve been noticing, as time goes by, that I can do a much better job now of hiding most of  the  frustration and restlessness  I feel when I’m put on the spot.    Most of the time all I really have to do is simply to apply myself to the task at hand at any given time.   The weird thing is that I’m never really afraid of the risk of  any specific kind of failure.   It’s just a case of my reacting inordinately unfavorably to the mere fact of my having to deal with something either new or important.

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